Am Not, You Are
Is it just my cynical perspective and observation or have we actually become a society obsessed with avoiding all responsibility for our own bad behaviours? Kind of like five-year-olds denying we ate the chocolate cake when the remnants are plastered all over our chubby little faces? Have you noticed how many people seem to do shitty things that are somehow not their fault?
Please tell me you have.
Despite their knowledge, intelligence and freedom of choice, they are somehow not responsible (in their mind) for their actions or the impact those actions might have on the lives of others.
Wow, how convenient is that? Conversely, when they do something positive, it's all them. Of course it is.
It Wasn't a Mistake; It Was Me
Is there any chance that when someone does something bad (wrong, destructive, violent, hurtful, illegal) in 2011 they might actually step up to the plate and say "Yes, I did it? It was a bad thing and I did it intentionally. I take full responsibility for what I did. It was all me. I have no excuse, no lame explanation and no self-serving defence. It wasn't (somehow) my parent's fault. Or my third grade teacher. Or those video games I played."
"And it wasn't because of drugs, alcohol or some temporary blackout. It wasn't because I was momentarily and conveniently insane. No, I was just a selfish prick. A normal human being doing a bad thing. It wasn't because I'm misunderstood, disadvantaged or socially inept. I didn't accidentally, unknowingly or unintentionally hurt that person. I did it on purpose. I stole the money. I pulled the trigger. I made that decision. I did that bad thing and I did it consciously. I didn't accidentally cheat on my partner; I did it strategically and with considerable planning. It wasn't a mistake; it was my intention."
Total honesty and responsibility: what a crazy concept. How frickin' refreshing would that be?
Not likely, of course, but refreshing nonetheless.
However...
Now, before anyone jumps up and down and screams "you intolerant pig", read the following carefully and understand where I'm coming from.
I'm the first to acknowledge that some people have serious emotional and psychological issues over which they have little or no control. Of their feelings or their behaviours. These are legitimate issues and problems and these are not the people I'm talking about today. No, I'm talking about the relatively intelligent and competent majority who strategically and intentionally behave badly ('badly' being a generic and innadequate adjective here - but you get my drift) to meet some need or desire of their own - with little or no respect for the happiness, safety or personal welfare of others.
Oh, all right then.
The Blame Game
I'm a little tired of high-profile people doing bad things and then failing to (even remotely) take responsibility for their behaviour. I won't name names (it serves no positive purpose) but when we expose our kids to successful, talented, intelligent, charismatic, famous people doing destructive crap to themselves and others with little or no (apparent) consequence or punishment, it sends the message "do whatever you want and if you get busted blame someone or something else."
Call me old-fashioned but I believe we should all (high-profile, low-profile and no-profile) be totally accountable and responsible for our behaviours. All day, every day. Not only when it's convenient. I also believe there should be consequences (good and bad) for our choices and behaviours. If I'm capable, competent and happy enough to accept the praise and rewards when they come my way, then I must step up to the plate and accept responsibility when I f*ck up. And I have. Many times.
Show me the person who never does anything nasty, stupid, selfish, destructive or dishonest and I'll show you where the Easter Bunny lives.
I know some people will think that I'm over-simplifying a complex issue here. Interestingly, I believe many people are complicating a relatively simple issue. For me, changing the current 'It's Not My Fault' paradigm all comes down to five things: honesty, accountability, courage, humility and a willingness to do better.
And how complicated is that?
By Craig Harper
Is it just my cynical perspective and observation or have we actually become a society obsessed with avoiding all responsibility for our own bad behaviours? Kind of like five-year-olds denying we ate the chocolate cake when the remnants are plastered all over our chubby little faces? Have you noticed how many people seem to do shitty things that are somehow not their fault?
Please tell me you have.
Despite their knowledge, intelligence and freedom of choice, they are somehow not responsible (in their mind) for their actions or the impact those actions might have on the lives of others.
Wow, how convenient is that? Conversely, when they do something positive, it's all them. Of course it is.
It Wasn't a Mistake; It Was Me
Is there any chance that when someone does something bad (wrong, destructive, violent, hurtful, illegal) in 2011 they might actually step up to the plate and say "Yes, I did it? It was a bad thing and I did it intentionally. I take full responsibility for what I did. It was all me. I have no excuse, no lame explanation and no self-serving defence. It wasn't (somehow) my parent's fault. Or my third grade teacher. Or those video games I played."
"And it wasn't because of drugs, alcohol or some temporary blackout. It wasn't because I was momentarily and conveniently insane. No, I was just a selfish prick. A normal human being doing a bad thing. It wasn't because I'm misunderstood, disadvantaged or socially inept. I didn't accidentally, unknowingly or unintentionally hurt that person. I did it on purpose. I stole the money. I pulled the trigger. I made that decision. I did that bad thing and I did it consciously. I didn't accidentally cheat on my partner; I did it strategically and with considerable planning. It wasn't a mistake; it was my intention."
Total honesty and responsibility: what a crazy concept. How frickin' refreshing would that be?
Not likely, of course, but refreshing nonetheless.
However...
Now, before anyone jumps up and down and screams "you intolerant pig", read the following carefully and understand where I'm coming from.
I'm the first to acknowledge that some people have serious emotional and psychological issues over which they have little or no control. Of their feelings or their behaviours. These are legitimate issues and problems and these are not the people I'm talking about today. No, I'm talking about the relatively intelligent and competent majority who strategically and intentionally behave badly ('badly' being a generic and innadequate adjective here - but you get my drift) to meet some need or desire of their own - with little or no respect for the happiness, safety or personal welfare of others.
Oh, all right then.
The Blame Game
I'm a little tired of high-profile people doing bad things and then failing to (even remotely) take responsibility for their behaviour. I won't name names (it serves no positive purpose) but when we expose our kids to successful, talented, intelligent, charismatic, famous people doing destructive crap to themselves and others with little or no (apparent) consequence or punishment, it sends the message "do whatever you want and if you get busted blame someone or something else."
Call me old-fashioned but I believe we should all (high-profile, low-profile and no-profile) be totally accountable and responsible for our behaviours. All day, every day. Not only when it's convenient. I also believe there should be consequences (good and bad) for our choices and behaviours. If I'm capable, competent and happy enough to accept the praise and rewards when they come my way, then I must step up to the plate and accept responsibility when I f*ck up. And I have. Many times.
Show me the person who never does anything nasty, stupid, selfish, destructive or dishonest and I'll show you where the Easter Bunny lives.
I know some people will think that I'm over-simplifying a complex issue here. Interestingly, I believe many people are complicating a relatively simple issue. For me, changing the current 'It's Not My Fault' paradigm all comes down to five things: honesty, accountability, courage, humility and a willingness to do better.
And how complicated is that?
By Craig Harper
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