Troubled Marriage? Things You May Be Neglecting In Your Marriage That Are Causing All The Problems

Sometimes we all need a little help finding out exactly what our spouses need from us. Over time, we can become blinded by our every day lives and repetitive schedules. In so much a way, that we forget what it was that first brought you together and what it was that kept your relationship hot. Many times, you get so used to each other, that you figure some of the more important things are a "given". But, let me be the first to tell you, although many things may seem like a "given", your spouse still needs reminding. Here's a short list you should go over for both the man and the women in the marriage.

If your a women whose having problems with your husband, then there may be many things you have neglected that have led up to this moment. Let's go over a few that can come into play:

• Are you meeting your husbands physical needs?
• Are you reminding them how you feel about them lovingly on a daily basis?
• Are you helping to boost his self esteem, confidence and self worth?
• Are you letting him know how much you appreciate him and all he contributes to the relationship?
• Do you make an effort to spend time with him
• Do you listen to him or lend your ear to all that may trouble him or please him?
• Do you plan or make efforts to attract him, entice him or make time to remind him how sexy you can be?

These are all examples of many things that you as a women may be neglecting in your marriage. Making an effort to improve some of these areas will go a long ways and might be just what you need to fix some of your marriage problems that may be directly effected by neglect in these areas.

Now, if you're the man, there are many areas that are equally neglected and will cause many rifts in your marriage. Not only that, but they will add to many other problems in your marriage.

• Do you pay attention or "really" listen to what your wife is saying?
• Do you give intuitive feedback or do you just say "uh huh honey, uh huh" while letting it go in one ear and out the other?
• Do you "really" show your wife how much you love her? Simple things go a long way, like remembering something she likes, surprising her with flowers at work or planning an evening out of everything she likes, regardless of whether you truly enjoy it or not.
• Do you cuddle with her or show physical affection without intention of sex? Your wife may feel like the only way to get physical attention, has to come with sex attached to it. You'd be surprised how much of an issue this really is for most marriages, but it is. You should make special effort to give this attention, without any expectations.
• Do you express or show your concern for her, in every aspect whether it be a simple headache or something that has upset her?
• Do you take special note to make sure decisions are fair and balanced, that you let your wife share a sense of having an equal part in decision making in the relationship?

If you're the man, you may assume that it's hard to show your feelings or that you think you do already, but men really struggle with words or actions to show how they feel. It's up to the man to find new ways of expressing this that remain comfortable. One thing you don't want to do, is make it a chore or something that is obviously displeasing. You're wife can pick up on this, and although it may earn you an A for effort, not finding ways to express the way you feel that are comfortable to you will lead you back to the same spot. So experiment with all sorts of ways, so that you may find some things you can stick with.

At the end of the day, it's up to both the man and the women to make sure they're not neglecting areas in marriage that matter most. Just improving on some of these areas, may be all you need to save a troubled marriage. There are other things that will definitely help, but these areas should get you started.

It's all up to you! If you don't take action to save your marriage, then who will?

By R P Smith