In a long-term relationship, it's easy to become so attuned to your partner's feelings and attitudes that you almost feel as if you can read their mind. This is natural, and can be a very comforting, cozy feeling. However, the length of yourrelationship doesn't make you psychic, and operating on this belief can lead to some very nasty arguments!
How it Happens
Most of us have been there. We've been with one person so long that we know what they're going to say before they even say it. We know their favorite foods, what types of movies they enjoy, and what they like to do after a hard day at work.
Knowing so much about a person is a wonderful thing
. It fosters intimacy, and lets both partners know that they're in a truly committed relationship. However, it can also be dangerous. Knowing a lot about your partner in your relationship doesn't make you psychic, no matter how eerily accurate you can be in predicting their responses to certain things. Your partner is a person, and people react differently to different things in different situations. Keeping this in mind is a great step toward a healthy relationship.
How it Can Backfire
Let's use a common example. Your partner comes home. You can tell by her facial expression and her slumped posture that she's had a rough day at work. From past experience, you're certain that the first thing she'll do is retreat to the bathroom and soak away the day's worries in a nice, long bath. You know that she doesn't like to be bothered with a lot of questions on days like this.
Trying to be caringand accommodating, you give her a quick kiss and give her some space. You don't understand the slightly hurt look she gives you. Perhaps you don't even see it.
Instead of a hard day at work, your partner was involved in a car crash on the way home. Though she's obviously fine, the experience was terrifying, and there's nothing she wants more than a reassuring hug from you. Instead, you give her space and return to whatever you were doing before she got home. The message you're sending is that you don't care, even though you think you're doing exactly what she would want you to do.
See how dangerous it can be to assume that past experiences make you psychic? Thankfully, this situation is easily avoided. You don't need to hassle her when she arrives home looking tired. A simple "rough day?" is all it takes. This shows her that while you're familiar with her patterns of behavior, you still care enough to acknowledge the fact that she looks drained. In the example, she would have poured out the whole story, and all those hurt feelings would be spared.
A few questions can spare a lot of hurt feelings. Once you accept that your relationship doesn't make you psychic, you can bring a more magical quality into your relationship than psychic powers ever could!
By David W Mckenzie
How it Happens
Most of us have been there. We've been with one person so long that we know what they're going to say before they even say it. We know their favorite foods, what types of movies they enjoy, and what they like to do after a hard day at work.
Knowing so much about a person is a wonderful thing
. It fosters intimacy, and lets both partners know that they're in a truly committed relationship. However, it can also be dangerous. Knowing a lot about your partner in your relationship doesn't make you psychic, no matter how eerily accurate you can be in predicting their responses to certain things. Your partner is a person, and people react differently to different things in different situations. Keeping this in mind is a great step toward a healthy relationship.How it Can Backfire
Let's use a common example. Your partner comes home. You can tell by her facial expression and her slumped posture that she's had a rough day at work. From past experience, you're certain that the first thing she'll do is retreat to the bathroom and soak away the day's worries in a nice, long bath. You know that she doesn't like to be bothered with a lot of questions on days like this.
Trying to be caring
and accommodating, you give her a quick kiss and give her some space. You don't understand the slightly hurt look she gives you. Perhaps you don't even see it.Instead of a hard day at work, your partner was involved in a car crash on the way home. Though she's obviously fine, the experience was terrifying, and there's nothing she wants more than a reassuring hug from you. Instead, you give her space and return to whatever you were doing before she got home. The message you're sending is that you don't care, even though you think you're doing exactly what she would want you to do.
See how dangerous it can be to assume that past experiences make you psychic? Thankfully, this situation is easily avoided. You don't need to hassle her when she arrives home looking tired. A simple "rough day?" is all it takes. This shows her that while you're familiar with her patterns of behavior, you still care enough to acknowledge the fact that she looks drained. In the example, she would have poured out the whole story, and all those hurt feelings would be spared.
A few questions can spare a lot of hurt feelings. Once you accept that your relationship doesn't make you psychic, you can bring a more magical quality into your relationship than psychic powers ever could!
By David W Mckenzie
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