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Monday, January 24, 2011
Which Is More Effective - Subliminal Downloads or Hypnosis?
Hypnosis, a very well known for of personal development, is under competition from an increasingly popular method - that of subliminal messaging; mostcommonly normally used in audio form.
Having used both of these methods personally I am going to share my experiences on the advantages and disadvantages of each method.
Hypnosis: Now a very mainstream part of our modern society. Most people are aware of hypnosis and know what it is on a basic level, and it is widely proven and accepted as a very efficient form of self improvement. It can be really powerful, and can provide instant results after just one session. I react well to hypnosis, it really stimulates my subconscious mind, and upon coming out of trance I feel refreshed and ready to face the world again. On the flip sideyou have to take 30 minutes to an hour out of your day to listen and lie down and enter a trance. This sadly isn't always practical It can be quite expensive too - especially to visit a hypnotherapist and have an in person session
Subliminal Messages: getting used more and more over recent years and is really growing in credibility because of the success stories and people sharing their experiences around the Internet - it seems everyone is giving them a go, and people are getting fantastic results. It works in a similar way to hypnosis by sending subliminal suggestions straight to your unconscious mind with the aim of changing your beliefs and patterns of behavior. The main advantage is that you can listen to them at anytime, and anywhere. You won't enter a trance, so you can use it while you study, work, exercise, and of course while you sleep.. On the other side the changes can be more gradual, as the subliminal statements gradually grow in your mind, but you are still talking about seeing some change within a week or two which isn't so bad.
In the end there isn't really a single "best method", like everything it is personal preference. A method which gives results for one person might not be so great for another - we we are all programmed differently.
Why not try it for yourself You can try 3 FREE and potentially life changing subliminal mp3 albums here with a massive $44.91 here. This way you can experience it for yourself, completely risk free, and you can see how you react personally and if it is right for you or not. Then if it does work for you the sky is the limit! You can get subliminal self confidence albums, albums for weight loss, sports success, mind enhancement and much more!
Having used both of these methods personally I am going to share my experiences on the advantages and disadvantages of each method.
Hypnosis: Now a very mainstream part of our modern society. Most people are aware of hypnosis and know what it is on a basic level, and it is widely proven and accepted as a very efficient form of self improvement. It can be really powerful, and can provide instant results after just one session. I react well to hypnosis, it really stimulates my subconscious mind, and upon coming out of trance I feel refreshed and ready to face the world again. On the flip sideyou have to take 30 minutes to an hour out of your day to listen and lie down and enter a trance. This sadly isn't always practical It can be quite expensive too - especially to visit a hypnotherapist and have an in person session
Subliminal Messages: getting used more and more over recent years and is really growing in credibility because of the success stories and people sharing their experiences around the Internet - it seems everyone is giving them a go, and people are getting fantastic results. It works in a similar way to hypnosis by sending subliminal suggestions straight to your unconscious mind with the aim of changing your beliefs and patterns of behavior. The main advantage is that you can listen to them at anytime, and anywhere. You won't enter a trance, so you can use it while you study, work, exercise, and of course while you sleep.. On the other side the changes can be more gradual, as the subliminal statements gradually grow in your mind, but you are still talking about seeing some change within a week or two which isn't so bad.
In the end there isn't really a single "best method", like everything it is personal preference. A method which gives results for one person might not be so great for another - we we are all programmed differently.
Why not try it for yourself You can try 3 FREE and potentially life changing subliminal mp3 albums here with a massive $44.91 here. This way you can experience it for yourself, completely risk free, and you can see how you react personally and if it is right for you or not. Then if it does work for you the sky is the limit! You can get subliminal self confidence albums, albums for weight loss, sports success, mind enhancement and much more!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
There Are Three Different Kinds of Discipline
I will refer to these as “authoritarian parenting,” “permissive parenting” and “democratic parenting.” I will explain the problems you will encounter if you use authoritarian parenting or permissive parenting, and why I recommend democratic parenting.
Parents who use authoritarian parenting are either using “authoritarian violent parenting” or “authoritarian non-violent parenting.”
Authoritarian Violent Parenting
I will describe the problems you will face if you use “authoritarian violent parenting.” All your control comes through spanking, threatening, yelling, humiliating, blaming, criticizing, etc. To do this means you control your child by physical or verbal abuse.
You can already see the problems you face with authoritarian violent parenting. Clearly the home atmosphere will be tense, rigid and oppressive. With this form of parenting, your children will often feel angry, hostile, scared or powerless, and will have low self-esteem.
Through authoritarian violent parenting children learn violence, competitiveness, lying and blind obedience to authority, and they end up having no self-discipline. What we then see in the adolescent teen is a child who will likely rebel, run away from home, act out with fights, drugs, sexual promiscuity, etc. and become hurtful to herself or to others.
As you can see, in authoritarian violent parenting, the parents ultimately run out of power – just as violent dictators who rule countries with this same style eventually get overthrown.
Authoritarian Non-Violent Parenting
Now, let’s talk about the problems with “authoritarian non-violent parenting.” With this form of discipline, the methods we use to control our children include rewards and punishments. The rewards may include money, privileges, treats, toys, hugs, praise, attention, etc. Among the punishments used in authoritarian non-violent parenting include loss of privileges, withdrawal of love and attention, isolation, making the child feel guilty, etc.
So what children learn from this form of parenting is conformity, “apple-polishing” and deviousness, and they tend to lack self-discipline. Children raised with authoritarian non-violent parenting may feel resentful, angry, misunderstood and manipulated.
What then could be seen in the adolescent teen is emotional withdrawal, rebelling and searching elsewhere for unconditional love. Parents who practice this form of discipline most commonly complain that their teenager doesn’t talk with them. Thus, as you can see again, with authoritarian non-violent parenting parents run out of power.
Permissive Parenting
It’s worthwhile to say a few words about “permissive parenting,” for often parents find themselves “at the end of their rope” when using permissive parenting, as once again they tend to run out of power. In this case, out of frustration and lack of skills, the pendulum swings and the parent resorts to authoritarian parenting.
In order to get children to cooperate using permissive parenting, you would have to use pleading, bribing, negotiating, nagging, yielding, lecturing, waiting, self-sacrificing, rescuing and catering. In all of these instances, the real needs of the child are not addressed, and as a result, each of these is a form of neglect (neglecting to address the child’s real needs).
With permissive parenting the home atmosphere can be chaotic, exhausting, and inconsistent. Children learn how to manipulate others and develop no self-discipline, while feeling confused, guilty and insecure.
Children raised with permissive parenting can become selfish, dependent, demanding, whining, domineering, manipulative and irresponsible. Parents can also feel resentful of their children.
So, as you can see we recommend avoiding using “authoritarian parenting” or “permissive parenting,” for the reasons described above, and instead we recommend “democratic parenting.”
Democratic Parenting
“Democratic parenting” is all about connection and including the children in the process. For children to enjoy life and have good age-appropriate judgment, they must feel connected to other people and to their environment. They must feel like they “belong” and hold a significant status in life.
With democratic parenting, everyone has a sense of power – including the child. When the sense of power is shared with the child, there is no need for power struggles, making cooperation natural and easy.
The methods used for democratic parenting allow the home atmosphere to be relaxed, orderly and flexible. The parents provide unconditional love, modeling, encouragement, listening to feelings and natural consequences for their children, and meet their real needs.
In this relaxed home atmosphere, “problem solving” is encouraged. Regular family meetings in a supportive atmosphere are incorporated among the “problem solving” options.
Because the atmosphere helps children feel connected and loved, and the children’s thinking and ideas are incorporated in family decision making, children feel happy, secure, confident and well loved, and they tend to have high self-esteem.
All the while, children are learning self-discipline, responsibility, problem-solving skills, respect, natural consequences, intelligent thinking and cooperation.
What we then see in the adolescent teen is love and respect between the parents and the child. Because the child’s needs have been met, and she feels loved and connected to their parents and others, she feels no need to rebel or withdraw.
Parents who use authoritarian parenting are either using “authoritarian violent parenting” or “authoritarian non-violent parenting.”
Authoritarian Violent Parenting
I will describe the problems you will face if you use “authoritarian violent parenting.” All your control comes through spanking, threatening, yelling, humiliating, blaming, criticizing, etc. To do this means you control your child by physical or verbal abuse.
You can already see the problems you face with authoritarian violent parenting. Clearly the home atmosphere will be tense, rigid and oppressive. With this form of parenting, your children will often feel angry, hostile, scared or powerless, and will have low self-esteem.
Through authoritarian violent parenting children learn violence, competitiveness, lying and blind obedience to authority, and they end up having no self-discipline. What we then see in the adolescent teen is a child who will likely rebel, run away from home, act out with fights, drugs, sexual promiscuity, etc. and become hurtful to herself or to others.
As you can see, in authoritarian violent parenting, the parents ultimately run out of power – just as violent dictators who rule countries with this same style eventually get overthrown.
Authoritarian Non-Violent Parenting
Now, let’s talk about the problems with “authoritarian non-violent parenting.” With this form of discipline, the methods we use to control our children include rewards and punishments. The rewards may include money, privileges, treats, toys, hugs, praise, attention, etc. Among the punishments used in authoritarian non-violent parenting include loss of privileges, withdrawal of love and attention, isolation, making the child feel guilty, etc.
So what children learn from this form of parenting is conformity, “apple-polishing” and deviousness, and they tend to lack self-discipline. Children raised with authoritarian non-violent parenting may feel resentful, angry, misunderstood and manipulated.
What then could be seen in the adolescent teen is emotional withdrawal, rebelling and searching elsewhere for unconditional love. Parents who practice this form of discipline most commonly complain that their teenager doesn’t talk with them. Thus, as you can see again, with authoritarian non-violent parenting parents run out of power.
Permissive Parenting
It’s worthwhile to say a few words about “permissive parenting,” for often parents find themselves “at the end of their rope” when using permissive parenting, as once again they tend to run out of power. In this case, out of frustration and lack of skills, the pendulum swings and the parent resorts to authoritarian parenting.
In order to get children to cooperate using permissive parenting, you would have to use pleading, bribing, negotiating, nagging, yielding, lecturing, waiting, self-sacrificing, rescuing and catering. In all of these instances, the real needs of the child are not addressed, and as a result, each of these is a form of neglect (neglecting to address the child’s real needs).
With permissive parenting the home atmosphere can be chaotic, exhausting, and inconsistent. Children learn how to manipulate others and develop no self-discipline, while feeling confused, guilty and insecure.
Children raised with permissive parenting can become selfish, dependent, demanding, whining, domineering, manipulative and irresponsible. Parents can also feel resentful of their children.
So, as you can see we recommend avoiding using “authoritarian parenting” or “permissive parenting,” for the reasons described above, and instead we recommend “democratic parenting.”
Democratic Parenting
“Democratic parenting” is all about connection and including the children in the process. For children to enjoy life and have good age-appropriate judgment, they must feel connected to other people and to their environment. They must feel like they “belong” and hold a significant status in life.
With democratic parenting, everyone has a sense of power – including the child. When the sense of power is shared with the child, there is no need for power struggles, making cooperation natural and easy.
The methods used for democratic parenting allow the home atmosphere to be relaxed, orderly and flexible. The parents provide unconditional love, modeling, encouragement, listening to feelings and natural consequences for their children, and meet their real needs.
In this relaxed home atmosphere, “problem solving” is encouraged. Regular family meetings in a supportive atmosphere are incorporated among the “problem solving” options.
Because the atmosphere helps children feel connected and loved, and the children’s thinking and ideas are incorporated in family decision making, children feel happy, secure, confident and well loved, and they tend to have high self-esteem.
All the while, children are learning self-discipline, responsibility, problem-solving skills, respect, natural consequences, intelligent thinking and cooperation.
What we then see in the adolescent teen is love and respect between the parents and the child. Because the child’s needs have been met, and she feels loved and connected to their parents and others, she feels no need to rebel or withdraw.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
THE ESSENTIALS OF LIFE
We think that water, food and oxygen are the only ingredients thar are essentials to sustain life. We forget that the SPIRIT also has cravings of its own. The Spirit needs hope, love and encouragement. Good fathers like YOU recognise how important these needs are and attend to them with as much fervor and energy as they do to support the family's fanancial needs.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Are Subliminal Messages Illegal?
There is so much controversy surrounding subliminal messages right now. In the last couple of years they have been big news..
First it was McDonalds - they came accused of flashing a subliminal advert on the Food Network tv channel. Shortly after George Bush was found to be using subliminals during his re-election campaign and speeches.
It is a shame, but even despite being highlighted in the media like this, both McDonalds and George Bush escaped without any punishment or even formal investigation.
Subliminal messages can't be used in the media - i.e. companies are not allowed to use them within advertising (although that didn't stop McDonalds. This is whether using subliminal audio suggestions, or text / images flashed faster than the eye can see.
But things get a little more complicated when considering a "subliminal suggestion".. A subliminal suggestion is usually an image which at first glance looks normal, but on further investigation there is a subliminal link - usually linking a product to sex within the mind of the consumer. Typical examples of this can include somehow hiding the word "sex" within the imagery / background of the advert, or even just having a beautiful girl holding / using the product - Pepsi and Coca Cola often use this female imagery for example, even down to the very fact that their bottles are shaped to mimic the body of a woman.
Positive Ways To Use Subliminal Audio
People are often scared of subliminal messages, but this shouldn't be the case - you can use them audio for your own personal development - to help you reach your goals, and when they are used for personal reasons like this they can have a remarkable effect! ..
Give subliminal development a try for yourself! SubliminalMP3s.com are the leading source of subliminal audio online - they have over 170+ subliminal albums for success in almost any area - and best of all they offer 3 FREE subliminal messages albums (worth $44.91) so you can experience it's power for yourself!
First it was McDonalds - they came accused of flashing a subliminal advert on the Food Network tv channel. Shortly after George Bush was found to be using subliminals during his re-election campaign and speeches.
It is a shame, but even despite being highlighted in the media like this, both McDonalds and George Bush escaped without any punishment or even formal investigation.
Subliminal messages can't be used in the media - i.e. companies are not allowed to use them within advertising (although that didn't stop McDonalds. This is whether using subliminal audio suggestions, or text / images flashed faster than the eye can see.
But things get a little more complicated when considering a "subliminal suggestion".. A subliminal suggestion is usually an image which at first glance looks normal, but on further investigation there is a subliminal link - usually linking a product to sex within the mind of the consumer. Typical examples of this can include somehow hiding the word "sex" within the imagery / background of the advert, or even just having a beautiful girl holding / using the product - Pepsi and Coca Cola often use this female imagery for example, even down to the very fact that their bottles are shaped to mimic the body of a woman.
Positive Ways To Use Subliminal Audio
People are often scared of subliminal messages, but this shouldn't be the case - you can use them audio for your own personal development - to help you reach your goals, and when they are used for personal reasons like this they can have a remarkable effect! ..
Give subliminal development a try for yourself! SubliminalMP3s.com are the leading source of subliminal audio online - they have over 170+ subliminal albums for success in almost any area - and best of all they offer 3 FREE subliminal messages albums (worth $44.91) so you can experience it's power for yourself!
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Subliminal Messaging For Beginners
Subliminal learning is often mis-understood, but it doesn't have to be really - it is not all that mysterious, it actually works in a very simple way :) In this article we will give a brief overview of subliminal learning and explain how it can influence the mind.
The word "subliminal" itself comes from the Latin words "sub" and "limen", which literally translate as "below the threshold". This means that a subliminal message is any piece of information which our minds receive below the threshold of our conscious capacity of perception.
In other words a subliminal message is anything we receive without knowing.
This could be in several forms, but commonly audio or visual format The most basic example of subliminal perception is from our every day environment. We have a constant, automatic filter in our minds so that we only consciously process the information we need to deal with there and then.
When crossing a street we notice the traffic around us, when walking on the path we hardly take notice of cars passing just a few feet away. When we are talking to our friends we don't hear other people's conversations... but if we then hear our name spoken by someone outside our group this information registers.
You have been unconsciously processing this conversation all the time - only when you hear your name do you fully focus in on itproperly.
Can Messaging Be Used To Help Me?
YES OF COURSE THEY CAN!
This isn't just interesting pop psychology.Subliminal messaging is most often used in audio form (i.e. as CDs and MP3s) to help you develop - help you to levels of self esteem and charisma, your motivation, willpower, and perhaps even help you to lose weight or improve your finances - the possibilities are endless.
Because we are capable of absorbing information we are not consciously aware of.
If you use subliminal audio you will receive these positive messages repeatedly. They quickly will grow within your mind to make powerful changes to your inner beliefs and core personality traits
You might still be skeptical (many people are before they try it for themselves), if so then you are in luck as SubliminalMP3s.com will let you try subliminals for free - download 3 free subliminal audio albums along with their mini course in subliminal technology. This way you can see the power of subliminals for yourself .
The word "subliminal" itself comes from the Latin words "sub" and "limen", which literally translate as "below the threshold". This means that a subliminal message is any piece of information which our minds receive below the threshold of our conscious capacity of perception.
In other words a subliminal message is anything we receive without knowing.
This could be in several forms, but commonly audio or visual format The most basic example of subliminal perception is from our every day environment. We have a constant, automatic filter in our minds so that we only consciously process the information we need to deal with there and then.
When crossing a street we notice the traffic around us, when walking on the path we hardly take notice of cars passing just a few feet away. When we are talking to our friends we don't hear other people's conversations... but if we then hear our name spoken by someone outside our group this information registers.
You have been unconsciously processing this conversation all the time - only when you hear your name do you fully focus in on itproperly.
Can Messaging Be Used To Help Me?
YES OF COURSE THEY CAN!
This isn't just interesting pop psychology.Subliminal messaging is most often used in audio form (i.e. as CDs and MP3s) to help you develop - help you to levels of self esteem and charisma, your motivation, willpower, and perhaps even help you to lose weight or improve your finances - the possibilities are endless.
Because we are capable of absorbing information we are not consciously aware of.
If you use subliminal audio you will receive these positive messages repeatedly. They quickly will grow within your mind to make powerful changes to your inner beliefs and core personality traits
You might still be skeptical (many people are before they try it for themselves), if so then you are in luck as SubliminalMP3s.com will let you try subliminals for free - download 3 free subliminal audio albums along with their mini course in subliminal technology. This way you can see the power of subliminals for yourself .
Friday, January 14, 2011
Subliminal Messaging For Idiots
Subliminal messaging is hardly a new concept, yet still it gets misunderstood in the media. This doesn't have to be so though, as in-fact it is pretty simple really. I will show you in a very "to the point" way how it works, and how you too can use it to help improve your subconscious mind for the better.
The word "subliminal" itself comes from the Latin words "sub" + "limen", which literally translate as "below the threshold". All this means is that a subliminal message is any piece of information which our minds receive below the threshold of our conscious perception.
This can be in any form - from music to audio Probably the fastest way to explain subliminal processing is by using ourevery day lives. We have a constant, automatic filter in our minds so that we only consciously process the information we need to deal with there and then.
When crossing a street we notice the traffic around us, when walking on the path we hardly take notice of cars passing just a few feet away. When we are talking to our friends we focus in on this - hearing nothing else... but if we then hear our name mentioned by someone outside our group this information does get in.
You have been unconsciously processing this conversation all the time - only when you hear your name do you fully focus in on itproperly.
Can Audio Be Used To Help Me?
YES OF COURSE THEY CAN!
This isn't just interesting pop psychology.Subliminal messaging is most often used in audio form (i.e. as CDs and MP3s) to help you develop - help you to strengthen your self belief and confidence, levels of self esteem, boost willpower, develop motivation - the possibilities are almost limitless.
Because we are capable of absorbing information on this subliminal level.
By using subliminal messages you will gradually receive these positive messages time and time again. In time they will build in your mind and start making changes to your self beliefs and ways of thinking
You might still be unsure (many people are before they try it for themselves), if you are then you are in luck as SubliminalMP3s.com will let you try subliminals for free - download 3 free subliminal audio albums along with their email course in subliminal messaging. This way you can experience the benefits of subliminal messaging completely risk free and see for yourself how it can help you..
The word "subliminal" itself comes from the Latin words "sub" + "limen", which literally translate as "below the threshold". All this means is that a subliminal message is any piece of information which our minds receive below the threshold of our conscious perception.
This can be in any form - from music to audio Probably the fastest way to explain subliminal processing is by using ourevery day lives. We have a constant, automatic filter in our minds so that we only consciously process the information we need to deal with there and then.
When crossing a street we notice the traffic around us, when walking on the path we hardly take notice of cars passing just a few feet away. When we are talking to our friends we focus in on this - hearing nothing else... but if we then hear our name mentioned by someone outside our group this information does get in.
You have been unconsciously processing this conversation all the time - only when you hear your name do you fully focus in on itproperly.
Can Audio Be Used To Help Me?
YES OF COURSE THEY CAN!
This isn't just interesting pop psychology.Subliminal messaging is most often used in audio form (i.e. as CDs and MP3s) to help you develop - help you to strengthen your self belief and confidence, levels of self esteem, boost willpower, develop motivation - the possibilities are almost limitless.
Because we are capable of absorbing information on this subliminal level.
By using subliminal messages you will gradually receive these positive messages time and time again. In time they will build in your mind and start making changes to your self beliefs and ways of thinking
You might still be unsure (many people are before they try it for themselves), if you are then you are in luck as SubliminalMP3s.com will let you try subliminals for free - download 3 free subliminal audio albums along with their email course in subliminal messaging. This way you can experience the benefits of subliminal messaging completely risk free and see for yourself how it can help you..
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Stanley 92-824 Black Chrome and Laser Etched Socket Set, 69-Piece
The Stanley 92-824 Black Chrome and Laser Etched Socket Set includes 69 pieces that meet or exceed the American National Standards Institute (ANSI) specifications for combination wrenches, sockets, and ratchets. The laser etched sockets provide hi-visibility markings, making it easier to read compared to standard marked sockets. Black chrome offers a sharper appearance and better corrosion resistance when compared to regular chrome sockets. A 2-piece cases allow for lid removal and enable the back case to be used as a drawer tray. An easy reassemble of the lid to the case provides for convenient tool storage and travel.
What's in the Box
30 1/4-inch sockets, 33 3/8-inch sockets, 1 3/8-drive pear head ratchet arm, 1 1/4-inch pear head ratchet arm, 1 3/8-inch spark plug socket (5/8-inch), 1 3/8-inch spark plug socket (13/16-inch), 1 1/4-inch extension bar (3-inch), 1 3/8-inch extension bar (6-inch), blow molded case, and color graphic sleeve.
About Stanley Sockets and Ratchets
Stanley sockets feature the proprietary Max-Drive design, a unique radius corner design which provides 15 percent more torque, making it easy to tighten fasteners and simplifies the turning of rounded corners. This technology helps reduce fastener wear without contact on the outer 5 percent of the fastener, so fasteners last longer. This helps reduce slipping on frozen or rusted fasteners. Stanley sockets are manufactured worldwide with high alloy steel and heat treated for performance.
Stanley ratchets and accessories are designed to meet or exceed ANSI specifications. All are forged from high-quality steel and finished in high-polish chrome. Selected Stanley high-torque ratchets have a Quick Release mechanism for one-handed use. Sockets and extensions remain locked onto the drive until disengaged with an easy-to-reach, low-profile quick-release button. Stanley Pear Head Ratchets have a slim profile and a small 7-degree arc-swing for accessing hard to reach fasteners.
Price: $89.99
Click here to buy from Amazon
 Versatile, durable, and designed to accomplish tasks efficiently. |
 Designed to meet high standards for quality and performance. See a video for Stanley Tool Sets. |
30 1/4-inch sockets, 33 3/8-inch sockets, 1 3/8-drive pear head ratchet arm, 1 1/4-inch pear head ratchet arm, 1 3/8-inch spark plug socket (5/8-inch), 1 3/8-inch spark plug socket (13/16-inch), 1 1/4-inch extension bar (3-inch), 1 3/8-inch extension bar (6-inch), blow molded case, and color graphic sleeve.
About Stanley Sockets and Ratchets
Stanley sockets feature the proprietary Max-Drive design, a unique radius corner design which provides 15 percent more torque, making it easy to tighten fasteners and simplifies the turning of rounded corners. This technology helps reduce fastener wear without contact on the outer 5 percent of the fastener, so fasteners last longer. This helps reduce slipping on frozen or rusted fasteners. Stanley sockets are manufactured worldwide with high alloy steel and heat treated for performance.
Stanley ratchets and accessories are designed to meet or exceed ANSI specifications. All are forged from high-quality steel and finished in high-polish chrome. Selected Stanley high-torque ratchets have a Quick Release mechanism for one-handed use. Sockets and extensions remain locked onto the drive until disengaged with an easy-to-reach, low-profile quick-release button. Stanley Pear Head Ratchets have a slim profile and a small 7-degree arc-swing for accessing hard to reach fasteners.
Price: $89.99
Click here to buy from Amazon
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Different Parenting Styles Solution
Posted By Ashley on December 3, 2010
Question:
My husband and I use different methods. He tends to follow the authoritarian while I follow the permissive. I believe he grew up with this method being used in his own home and does not see anything wrong with it. Our household has become tense. I am not sure how to get us both on the same page. My thought is that if I start using these parenting styles my husband will see results and follow.
Answer:
Hi Angie,
Great to hear from you. Your issue is very common.
Men tend to use more authoritarian methods of parenting, usually do to how we raise boys and expect boys to be “tougher” in our culture. So, yes, often boys are raised differently than girls. Not only at home, but also by the whole of society.
This conditioning can mean that the father’s parenting style, may look more reactive and authoritarian. Though this is changing and men are re-evaluating their parenting styles and even working through some of their old pain that may cause this “armour” approach to maleness, that affects our parenting.
I recommend finding some useable Democratic Parenting “underlying assumptions” that you and your husband can both agree with, such as this fundamental developmental principle:
1) “When children feel connected to other people, they learn rapidly and have good age appropriate judgment.”
2) Children are also likely to express an exuberance and enjoyment of life.
And this is good. These are underlying assumptions that, perhaps both you and your husband can agree with and build new democratic parenting methods around. (Democratic Parenting is described further in the Happy Child Guide).
You will want to approach your husband as a “partner” in parenting and find a moment and tone for the discussion, that will lower his defensiveness to these new ideas. Lots of warm affirmations and open appreciations of the areas where he parents well and shows love, can help and is appropriate and lovely to share.
But this “underlying assumption” about “connection” will be a good place to begin and grow from.
Again, thanks for your wonderful question,
Isaac Romano
Parenting Learning Club, Senior Faculty
Ashley Ryan is a parent leader and parenting coach specializing in positive and gentle parenting strategies. She has studied with many of the world’s leading parenting authorities and continues to help parents live to their full parenting potential.
Visit Authors Website | Ashley
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